My longtime trusted and respected mentor, while discussing a case, once said: “The hero is the victim; the victim is the hero. There is no difference between the two.” I remember feeling as though I had been struck by lightning—not only because the language was so simple and precise, but also because the idea of victim-herohood felt deeply true and accurate for many cases in my practice over the years, as well as for friends and family members. I could even recognize aspects

Anxiety is one of the most common reasons people seek psychotherapy, and yet it has a very strong negative connotation and is often misunderstood. Most of us experience anxiety as something to eliminate or get rid of, assuming it is a sign that something is wrong with us. From a psychodynamic and somatic perspective, anxiety is not inherently problematic or pathological. In fact, it has an essential function. Anxiety becomes a problem when it becomes chronic, overwhelming, or

Mindfulness We have been hearing about this concept everywhere. But what really is mindfulness, and why is it important in daily life and in psychotherapy? Whether you are psychologically minded and curious, have been in therapy for a long time, or are feeling the need to start therapy, here is what mindfulness can offer you—and why there is so much buzz around it. Let’s start by defining mindfulness. Mindfulness refers to the practice of bringing curious, non-judgmental att

As a part of our early developement, we encounter situations where we feel scared, helpless, and stuck. To create safety for ourselves and survive these moements of overwhelm, we often resort to ways of being that establish safety and security. However, these ways of being take us farther from who we truly are inside and create patterns of armor designed to create safety and bring approval and validation in our relationships. Overtime, we start experiencing these armors as li

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly"    Transformation is painful and beautiful. When we endure the pain, mess, and murky territory of growth, we discover that there is maturity, wisdom, and beauty that emerge in our being and around us. In life, most of us have a tendency to focus on the pain, difficulty, and the lacking parts of ourselves and our lives. Do you feel like you remember the painful memories and incidences with great deta